How not to apologise
1. The blame shifter: Never say: “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Don’t shift the blame to the other person.
2. It’s not me, it’s the alcohol: So, you had a tipple or five? Alcohol is not a valid ‘get out of jail free’ card.
3. Forcing forgiveness: “You have to forgive me – you must!” “No, I don’t have to – I won’t.”
4. The big but: “I am sorry but it wouldn’t have happened, but…” Using “but” in an apology negates it.
5. Play the sympathy card: Don’t give lengthy details of what made you behave in a certain way.
6. e-Sorry: Apologising over chat or mail is not a good strategy.
7. Being diplomatic: Saying “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings,” isn’t enough. Especially if the transgression is major.
—Nupur Amarnath., Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say, TOI.